before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
