i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
