Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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