I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
