I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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