Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
