so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Welp...herpes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
