You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
