oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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