I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
