I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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