just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
