why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
and you fell through a lawn chair
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
