he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
