we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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