Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
