when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize