How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
