i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
