he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
