found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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