awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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