Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
