dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
