i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
