i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
