??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
