you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You dont lie about slip and slides
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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