I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The air taste purple.
Randomize
