Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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