I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
