Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
