lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
