Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
