I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Who died my cat blue again?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize