She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
