Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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