Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
