Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
