Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
try to milk me bitch
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