how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
