Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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