What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
