he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize