sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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