forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
