Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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