Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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