some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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