So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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