That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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