I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
