if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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